She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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