so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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