honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize