Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
