If i come over, it means nothing
You just made me feel so damn special
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.