Texts From Last Night

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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have

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  (215): Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have http://tfl.nu/hv3g
  Replies (42) Good night (3671) Bad night (647)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?

  (1-815): View more from Illinois

  why can't you just be normal

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  (815): have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u? (1-815): why can't you just be normal http://tfl.nu/06xb
  Replies (78) Good night (4937) Bad night (3214)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!

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  (850): best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE! http://tfl.nu/ymdz
  Replies (7) Good night (4608) Bad night (927)
• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless

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  (607): Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless http://tfl.nu/a84j
  Replies (20) Good night (5117) Bad night (595)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.

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  (202): Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death. http://tfl.nu/mvsk
  Replies (12) Good night (1119) Bad night (5054)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.

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  (513): he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk. http://tfl.nu/epms
  Replies (7) Good night (3029) Bad night (899)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.

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  (585): you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation. http://tfl.nu/l508
  Replies (6) Good night (1805) Bad night (3512)
• Favorite

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.

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  (501): SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD. http://tfl.nu/21ls
  Replies (30) Good night (11943) Bad night (1342)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.

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  (814): Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry. http://tfl.nu/q7zn
  Replies (9) Good night (3076) Bad night (949)
• Favorite

  (318): View more from Louisiana

  I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.

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  (318): I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna. http://tfl.nu/hik5
  Replies (4) Good night (1388) Bad night (420)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.

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  (402): Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen. http://tfl.nu/czwa
  Replies (4) Good night (388) Bad night (942)
• Favorite

  (269): View more from Michigan

  CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO

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  (269): CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO http://tfl.nu/xwnd
  Replies (1) Good night (823) Bad night (344)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.

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  (407): you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest. http://tfl.nu/qs4v
  Replies (10) Good night (1067) Bad night (537)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.

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  (336): My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public. http://tfl.nu/yo1q
  Replies (3) Good night (864) Bad night (269)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.

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  (540): LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA. http://tfl.nu/huba
  Replies (3) Good night (512) Bad night (284)

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