Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (224): View more from Illinois

  :( I'm sorry!!!

  (847): View more from Illinois

  sexual favors sorry?

  (224): View more from Illinois

  absolutely not

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  (224): :( I'm sorry!!! (847): sexual favors sorry? (224): absolutely not http://tfl.nu/14ur
  Replies (30) Good night (913) Bad night (2135)
• Favorite

  (438): View more from Quebec

  I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.

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  (438): I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures. http://tfl.nu/qhtl
  Replies (17) Good night (3172) Bad night (811)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.

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  (405): I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus. http://tfl.nu/spp0
  Replies (33) Good night (681) Bad night (5574)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.

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  (503): My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours. http://tfl.nu/f53e
  Replies (40) Good night (14869) Bad night (958)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.

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  (413): Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang. http://tfl.nu/dwae
  Replies (15) Good night (755) Bad night (5479)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.

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  (585): complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this. http://tfl.nu/7hr5
  Replies (6) Good night (3289) Bad night (872)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am

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  (703): She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am http://tfl.nu/kql6
  Replies (10) Good night (936) Bad night (4024)
• Favorite

  (212): View more from New York

  how are things with the new girl?

  (917): View more from New York City

  good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked

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  (212): how are things with the new girl? (917): good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked http://tfl.nu/oe1i
  Replies (6) Good night (3114) Bad night (870)
• Favorite

  (319): View more from Iowa

  i think i broke my dog last night...fuck

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  (319): i think i broke my dog last night...fuck http://tfl.nu/y38t
  Replies (6) Good night (448) Bad night (1740)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.

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  (410): It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions. http://tfl.nu/65l6
  Replies (1) Good night (1186) Bad night (432)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.

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  (413): I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing. http://tfl.nu/qpjl
  Replies (11) Good night (443) Bad night (1942)
• Favorite

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.

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  (250): I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder. http://tfl.nu/j76c
  Replies (9) Good night (2508) Bad night (991)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.

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  (920): We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing. http://tfl.nu/xflx
  Replies (6) Good night (1004) Bad night (369)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself

  (760): View more from California

  Though I typed a half of that one

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  (760): Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself (760): Though I typed a half of that one http://tfl.nu/upbv
  Replies (7) Good night (777) Bad night (341)
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?

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  (484): Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours? http://tfl.nu/xndj
  Replies (1) Good night (194) Bad night (403)

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