i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.