I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
i black out too much to be "responsible"
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