I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
