Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
