Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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