So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Randomize
