She went from zero to smokin in five shots
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
