Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
