There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
