Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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