she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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