i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
