Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
