So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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