I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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