It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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