90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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