Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
