No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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