But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
