I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
