You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
