Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
