There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
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