false alarm. still invincible.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
