so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Randomize
