that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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