Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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