Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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