I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I love you. Go after that dick
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
