I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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