we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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