Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
