I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
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