She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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