hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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