dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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