he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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