I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
