the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
