so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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