the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
