yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize