another moral hangover. fuck.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
