It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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