so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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