I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
My bed smells like the plague
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
