At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize