I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
