I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
