I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
