Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
