i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
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His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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