Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
