New low: just hacked my moms facebook
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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