sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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