Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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