Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
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